CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

By Jack Smith

Jesuit Father Stephen Barber was appointed last November as chaplain to the largest "parish" in Marin County. It is also one of the most active with an RCIA program, School of Pastoral Leadership classes, Scripture Study group, Basic Teachings of the Church class, First Friday Devotion, First Saturday Devotion in Spanish, a regularly scheduled Rosary, monthly Taize prayer, centering prayer group, a twice yearly Cursillo type retreat and a monthly film club. There is also an active parish council, with facilities, evening programs and worship committees.

"It’s what you would typically encounter in any parish," Fr. Barber said. Except that, his 5,967 parishioners are all men, they never leave the parish grounds, and 560 of them live in a separate "mission" condemned to death.

Fr. Barber recently shared his thoughts with Catholic San Francisco on being the full-time Catholic Chaplain at San Quentin State Prison.

Father Barber was born in 1956 — the second of three boys to Dolores and Adlai Barber, parishioners of Mission Dolores in San Francisco. The Barbers moved to Rancho Cordova, near Sacramento, and Stephen attended his parish school of St. John Vianney and later Jesuit High School.

For Stephen and older brother Michael exposure to the Jesuits would be an important force in their future lives and choices. Michael went on as a Jesuit to study at Gonzaga University in Spokane and is now professor and Director of Spiritual Life at Saint Patrick’s Seminary in Menlo Park.

While Stephen always had in the back of his mind that "somehow the Jesuits would figure into" his career choices, he decided to wait until he had some life experiences in the "real world" before "discerning it." He graduated with a degree in communications from Loyola Marymount and worked as artistic director of a theater company in Los Angeles. "The creativity and the human interconnectedness of being part of an artistic work that is community based has always appealed to me," he said. Eventually, he was drawn to "a parallel calling being part of a corporate effort like the Society in the Church," he said.

Stephen grew up "knowing the priesthood would be a valuable way to live." Fitting that conviction with his experiences at Jesuit High and LMU and keeping in touch with many Jesuit mentors led him to enter the Society in 1989. He admired in the Jesuits "the basic impulse to find God in the world and use dimensions of faith in the pursuit of justice that are tangible and visible," he said. "To be immersed in the world and to be caught up in the questions of the day – that has a real fascination for me."

Barber spent two years as a novice at Montecito, near Santa Barbara, and then studied philosophy at Gonzaga, followed by two years of teaching at Brophy Prep. in Phoenix. After teaching, his formation continued with studies at the Jesuit School of Theology in Berkeley (JSTB).

How did you first get involved with San Quentin?

There is a long tradition of students at JSTB helping out at San Quentin . . . everything from singing in the choir to teaching scripture to working in Alcoholics Anonymous and the various programs run through the Catholic Chapel. I began coming over Sunday mornings for Mass and then teaching a class on scripture. After ordination as a deacon, that expanded to preaching and continuing with cell ministry. Then I spent my first Summer of priesthood (1998) at San Quentin as a full-time volunteer.

What happened after Summer?

My first mission was as an administrator at Loyola High School in Los Angeles. I kept my foot in the door at San Quentin every Summer though, as a really healthy and fruitful balancing agent to work with High School kids and to come up here during the Summers and vacation to keep up the vocabulary of experience with the incarcerated. Probably, in the back of my mind always knowing that the door might open some day for that job.

Why the continuing appeal of San Quentin?

The life of a high school is fast paced and obviously centered on the students and their welfare. Many Jesuits try to do something different during the Summer. For me it was staying connected with the men at San Quentin who I met before ordination and wanting to stay part of their lives and keep them in mind.

I learned how to hear confessions walking the tiers of San Quentin. It was a unique and valuable way to learn how to do that - and to know the grace of reconciliation in a place like that is extraordinary.

I wouldn’t have had that in a parish. Being trained at San Quentin as a deacon and a priest – I thought this is really where God is calling me.

What’s a regular day?

I work five days a week as a regular employee of the Department of Corrections. The first thing is to continue the very strong program I inherited from (former chaplain) Father Denis McManus and Deacon George Salinger, who still works now at the prison, and to maintain the day to day workings of Our Lady of the Rosary chapel and night programs.

My priority is to go to Death Row and visit the men in those blocks because their housing is segregated and they don’t have the opportunity for cell ministry except the Catholic Chaplain or the Protestant Chaplain or other official people. In a typical housing unit, a number of volunteers have access. A different person might visit each day in regular housing, but not on Death Row.

Is there Mass on Death Row?

There is Mass about twice a week on Death Row. It’s similar to being pastor of a parish and then having a mission within that parish which is a unique population.

For Mass there are two adjoining cages. I’m encaged in one which is about the size of a phone booth, and the men who come in are in another caged area with about four or five pews that can accommodate ten to fifteen people. Mass is once a week, organized by exercise yards and once a month for those in administrative segregation. Mass is at exercise time, and the rotation of yards means you can exercise or go to Mass knowing that you’re not going to get to Mass for a few weeks.

What does "cell ministry" involve?

It is first of all trying to humanize what for many can be a very dehumanizing situation. The contact of a human being from the outside to a man who is incarcerated is a link with a human reality outside those walls. At its core, that’s the most important thing. If it then moves to a common experience of faith, conversation of a spiritual nature, conversation about a legal situation, conversation about the 49ers, whatever . . . It typically includes prayer, but not always. But for me, it’s about finding out where the man is living that day and trying to meet him there. And I do not exclude non-Catholics. I see anyone who wants to see me.

Do prisoners settle into a routine, an acceptance, or is there desperation?

There is desperation there in abundance. There is desperation around their legal situation – say someone is appealing their sentence of death. There is desperation when someone loses a family member and finds out about it – It is regularly the job of the chaplain to bring that news. There is a kind of ongoing ontological desperation of a life sentence without possibility of parole and the eternal adjustment to the new way of life behind those walls.

And yet, there is often that one encounters God’s Grace freely distributing a sense of freedom within the existential, which is to say, men feel called to relationship, men feel called to prayer, to investigate their spirit and to give expression to that. So one always has to leave open the possibility that God can freely work in what we might otherwise assume is desperation.

Does that happen enough to make your job fulfilling?

Often enough to make it worthwhile. It is worthwhile in and of itself – to call others to that place and to say this is a good place to encounter God.

Catholic San Francisco recently ran a story on the School of Pastoral Leadership program at San Quentin. What are the graduates of that program doing?

One of my first goals was to use the creativity of that group and invite them to form a pastoral council. So those ten men and Deacon Salinger and myself have formed a pastoral council that really does function as a parish council on the outside. I’ve encouraged them to a sense of responsibility to the community of faith that we share together. So we have conversation around our worship, around our evening programs – issues that come up that any community of faith would have. As I look to the future, I hope that this model will help to address the faith and the needs of the men so that it’s not just a function of the chaplain or the institution – but rather, that they see themselves in a way a parish in the free world sees themselves.

Is there any religious cooperation or tension at San Quentin?

As a chaplain at San Quentin, I’m part of a team of five chaplains who are employed by the community resources department. There is a full-time Catholic chaplain, a full-time Protestant chaplain and part-time Jewish, Muslim and Native American chaplains.

Taize is the most popular event of the month and it’s attended by men of all denominations.

Twice a year there is a Kairos retreat (based on the Cursillo movement) which is sponsored jointly by the Catholic and Protestant communities.

We have, what I think, is the only worship space perhaps, where Muslims and Jews share the same prayer space . . . It’s a lesson for people in the free world.

How does this job, commuting to and from prison, affect you?

There is very little traffic going in and out of San Quentin, so the traffic that is going in and out is really of a privileged nature . . . Working there is certainly, in its most immediate sense, a response to Jesus in the Gospel, "When I was in prison you came to visit me."

I’m still finding out what it is about the work and myself which are suitable. I think I have an innate sense to stand with people who are suffering – certainly, the men on Death Row and the men serving life sentences know what that is – and to pray with them.

We often think of the works of mercy, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc., as mandatory, whether we do them or not. But visiting the imprisoned is viewed by many as optional or exceptional. Why is that?

It’s probably the circumstance that our prisons have become. They’ve become fortresses, where due to the volume of people, it’s less and less likely that the average Christian considers the possibility of entrance . . . I owe mine to being a Jesuit.

I commend the archdiocese for maintaining such a strong public and pastoral profile with San Quentin. More than most other prisons, the door to San Quentin is open. There are literally dozens and dozens of parishioners from throughout the archdiocese who regularly visit.

If this article opens anyone’s eyes to the possibility of going, they should do that.

How would someone consider visiting?

The simplest way is to re-imagine the faith community at San Quentin as a parish and say, "I’m going to San Quentin to pray with the men on a Sunday morning, and see what it is that God is accomplishing there." When people call and ask how they can help that’s often my first response – Come to Sunday morning liturgy.

It helps to have a little knowledge of how you got to the place of wanting to visit when you call, beyond curiosity – you’ve prayed about it, you know of a fellow parishioner who has gone, and so on.

I can’t say enough about the value to the men that the commitment, no matter how large or small in terms of time, remain constant. It is a huge part of their faith life, that people regularly come in and are present.

Why does Christ ask us to visit the imprisoned?

So that those who are incarcerated are not forgotten . . . The simple fact of their humanity is enough to see in them, Christ.

Do you have a good relationship with prison administration?

Yes I do, and I would be remiss if I didn’t include Warden Jeanne Woodford’s voice in the voices of many who desire a stronger sense of community. It was one of the most important dimensions of the work that she highlighted to me when I interviewed for the position.

Her sense is that the chaplains have a real opportunity to enhance the larger sense of community at San Quentin, not merely by attending to the life of the men who are incarcerated, but also to the custodial staff and the administrative staff – To be available. Again, in that sense of humanizing a place that can be inhuman.

Many people assume the Warden’s job is to keep the walls up and the prisoners in. It’s more than that?

I think Warden Woodford makes that abundantly clear . . . A prison that large, like a ship at Sea, can hit some rough waters. The more you call forth basic human goodness and decency in that environment, wherever you encounter it, the better it is for everybody and the more peaceful it is, and that’s in everybody’s best interest.

Is there anything you would like to add?

Certainly, I’m grateful for the support and advocacy of Archbishop Levada and Bishop Wester in the hiring process, which was not easy, with the State of California being subject to the budget crisis. I appreciate very much their advocacy and patience and hard work in maintaining the position of Catholic Chaplain at San Quentin.

If you would like to visit the imprisoned or volunteer in prison ministry at San Quentin or any of the detention facilities within the archdiocese, please call Ray McKeon, archdiocesan director of prison ministry, at 415-614-5569.

Conference of teachers looks at challenges facing students today

By Evelyn Zappia

Nearly twelve hundred Archdiocesan teachers and administrators representing kindergarten through twelfth grades attended a daylong conference at Sacred Heart Cathedral Prep sponsored by the Office of Catholic Schools, Feb. 6.

"It’s all about helping the children," said Maureen Huntington, Superintendent of Catholic Schools in the Archdiocese of San Francisco. "We are looking at the changing situations in today’s families and how that effects education and the ministry that we are in – teaching."

Ms. Huntington hoped the conference would assist the educators in bridging the gap between the experiences teachers have in school with students and the expectations of their parents of what the school should provide.

In his keynote address, Jesuit Father Michael Garanzini met the challenge of the perplexing theme for the day, "From LPs to CD – What? MP3s? Understanding students in a rapidly changing world."

The president of Loyola University in Chicago said recent research reveals that the number of kids with conduct problems has increased over the years, saying technology is part of the reason.

As children attach themselves more and more to computers, they are less and less interacting with each other and not developing social skills. "Kids need interactive play," Father said. "They used to teach each other."

The professor of psychology suggested classroom management tips that research found to be helpful. Take more time to explain classroom rules. Kids respond positively to rewards and contests. Reprimands works best when close to the student. Disruptive kids improve with collaborative ventures; include them in groups with highly competitive kids.

He said not to underestimate teacher/parent conferences. "Virtue stands in the middle, watch for signs. How do parents imagine their roles? Are they overly concerned, or they don’t seem to care?"

Teaching her first full-time year at St. Elizabeth in the City, Elyssa Nacor said, "Many of my concerns paralleled with the keynote speaker. Discipline is a big problem." She would like to see parents invest more time in their children.

Internet traps and media input trouble sixth grade teacher Bryan Clement of St. Rita School in Fairfax. He is concerned about the portrayal of the personal interactions displayed on so-called reality shows where respect for one other is rarely exhibited.

Students are coming into the schools "technology savvy" at much younger ages, according to Principal Penny Donovan of Burlingame’s St. Catherine of Sienna School. "By the time they are three-years-old they can handle a mouse. They are used to instant feedback from their computers and electronic games. Then they go into a traditional classroom with pen, paper and lecture. It’s a challenge for the teachers to meet their learning styles."

Some teachers from St. Monica School in San Francisco were less concerned with technology than the changing family dynamics that affect the performance of their students. "There are more and more single parents," said fourth grade teacher Dee West. "We need to work with children so they feel the idea of community from the school, as well as home." Judie Stringer, first grade teacher at the Richmond District school said, "I find it difficult when the parents of our students are English limited." Communication from teachers to student to parents can cause frustration.

The educators participated in a variety of workshops with topics that included, stress, homework, student achievement, building character in the classroom, and the impact of the Internet and the media, focusing on bringing families and schools together.

"It’s a great way of getting us all together and talking about common issues regarding the education of our children," said second grade teacher Gabe Harpnm of St. James School in San Francisco’s Mission District.

Fifth grade teacher Vickie Brugnara of the Holy Names School in San Francisco was impressed with the keynote speaker. Her co-worker, religious education teacher, Sister Josie Peralta said, "The day presented a wonderful opportunity to learn about our kids, their parents and ourselves. There is always room for improvement."

Other speakers at the conference included Dr. Hal Urban of the University of San Francisco, Michael Pritchard, comedian and children’s advocate, Diane Provo of KRON-TV, Sister Gretchen Hailer and San Francisco Police Officer Kim Mercer.

LOCAL NEWS IN BRIEF

‘For Heaven’s Sake’ airs Sunday

Franciscan Sister Ramona Miller, director of spiritual formation at the Franciscan School of Theology in Berkeley, guests on the television program "For Heaven’s Sake," which airs Sunday, Feb 15 at 6:30 a.m. on KRON—Channel 4. Sister Ramona provides insight into Franciscan spirituality and its value in contemporary society.

Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland
2004 "Rhythm of Life’ Tour

Northern California Concerts:
Friday Feb. 20 at 7:00 p.m.
Cathedral Basilica of St. Joseph
80 So. Market St. - San Jose

Saturday Feb 21 at 7:00 p.m.
St. Ignatius Church
650 Parker Ave. - San Francisco

Catholic Radio Hour Highlights Week of Feb. 16-20

Weeknights at 7 p.m. – KEST 1450 AM Radio
Pray the Rosary – hosted by Fr. Tom Daly
One half-hour of prayers, reflections and music

Monday: Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary; Sunday Soundbite: The Beatitudes in Luke’s gospel; Fact of Faith: Phrases with religious origins.

Tuesday: The Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary; World Day for Consecrated Life: Sr. Mary Ann Walsh, RSM.

Wednesday: Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary; Immigration and the Church: Tim Matovina.

Thursday: Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary; Three minute theologian; Marlin’s manager a faithful manager: Frank Morock.

Friday: Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary; Faith on film and broadcasting: Gerri Paré; Tribute to two heroes of children’s television: Office of Film and Broadcasting.

Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland to give concerts in Bay Area

When Donal Denham, Irish Consul General for the Western United States, heard the Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland play in Los Angeles two years ago, he knew then that the group would have to come to San Francisco.

The Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland is a unique symphony orchestra composed of 84 Catholic and Protestant young people from both sides of the border region of Ireland. The group will make its second visit to California Feb. 13 to 23. This is the first time that concerts are scheduled in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Sharon Treacy Dunne and Sinead McDonnell conceived the idea of the Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland nearly 10 years ago, when the peace process gained a foothold in Northern Ireland and the logistics of the project became manageable.

The program for the 2004 California tour is billed as the "Rhythm of Life" and the Boston Pops style program will include the Irish Suite by Leroy Anderson, The Mountains of Mourne arranged by Neal Kelehan, and popular favorites. Conducting the orchestra is Ireland’s leading youth conductor, Gearoid Grant. Concerts feature Ireland’s leading tenor, Emmanuel Lawler and guest artists Uilleann Piper and Patrick Martin.

In the Feb. 21 concert at St. Ignatius Church in San Francisco, the Mercy High School Burlingame’s Advanced Chorale will be featured in honor of the 150th anniversary of the Sisters of Mercy in California.

Irish Consul General Donal Denham said that he was particularly interested in having the Cross Border Orchestra come to San Francisco in 2004 because the year commemorates the anniversary of both the Sisters of Mercy and the Sisters of the Presentation in San Francisco.

"Mercy Sisters and Presentation Sisters came to California in 1854 from Kinsale and they traveled together for most of the way," said the Consul General. "Both orders have made such a wonderful contribution to San Francisco and it’s wonderful to be able to celebrate their 150th anniversary in this way." Based in Dundalk, a town that suffered severe socio-economic and cultural deprivation at the height of the "Troubles," the orchestra established links between St. Louis Secondary School in Dundalk and Protestant schools across the border in Northern Ireland. Since the orchestra was founded, it has won every major orchestral competition in Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Tickets for the "Rhythm of Life" concerts are $20 per person. For information or tickets call 415-282-2264 or visit www.crossborderorchestra.com.

On The Street Where You Live

By Tom Burke

Honored with the Jane Thain Award from the Archdiocesan Council of Catholic Women were Stephanie Limpin , a freshman at SF City College and Taylor Whitmer , a freshman at UC, Santa Barbara. Both young women are models of the award’s namesake, a late and former ACCW prez, who "had a talent for spotting leadership potential and bringing it out in people," said Mary Ann Bouey, a member of the group. Stephanie is a parishioner of St. John the Evangelist, San Francisco. Taylor is a parishioner of St. Matthias, Redwood City …Liked these smile-makers recently emailed to me. A youngster sat by his father in church as ushers took up the Offertory collection. "Don’t pay for me, daddy," the lad said as the basket neared, "I’m under five." Interested in learning more about her students’ spiritual routines, the religious education teacher asked a member of the class if she prayed before meals. "We don’t have to," the child replied, "my mom’s a good cook."… Happy 56 years married January 10th to Holy Namers Dorothy and Joseph Miles . "God shower his blessings on you and your family," a recent bulletin said…."Good-bye but not forgotten," says St. Peter’s, Pacifica to longtime parishioners, Grace and Bob Shauger, who have moved out of the area after almost 40 years. All hats off here for the late Patrick Young, husband of Anne Young, and who "will be greatly missed by many."…Keeping his sense of humor while in the midst of raising a more than tidy sum for the retrofitting of the parish church is Paulist Father Charles Kullmann , pastor, Old St. Mary’s Cathedral. "The good news is that we have most of the $8 million we need to complete the work," he said in a bulletin brief. "The bad news is that it’s still in your pockets."…Thanks for this morale booster from the printed word of St. Matthias Parish, Redwood City. "You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven."…Taking Gregorian chant to new heights at St. Peter and Paul in North Beach were middle school and junior highers from San Francisco’s Stuart Hall under the direction of Stuart Hall faculty member Michael Collins . The choir included Troy Johnson, Matthew Gelardi, Brian Wong, Nick Allen, Mathew Micheli, Joe Bisesto, Will Chan, Giancarlo Sangiacomo, Stewart Goosens, Jackson Adams, Everett Dong, Peter Quinn, Francis Finnegan, Eric Wong, Tim Lane Propsta, Alex Wong, Bernardo Urquieta, Will Ryan, Gordon Glogau. On the choir’s return in the Spring, also in tow will be the "eight strong voices felled by flu," Michael said . . . . Remember, this is an empty space without ya’!!! Send items and a follow up phone number to On the Street Where You Live, One Peter Yorke Way, SF 94109. Fax (415) 614-5641; e-mail tburke@catholic-sf.org. Do not send attachments except photos and those in jpeg, please. You can reach Tom Burke at (415) 614-5634….

Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Belmont Long awaited multi-purpose center dedicated, welcomed at parish

By Tom Burke

The Immaculate Heart of Mary Multi-Purpose Center was dedicated at ceremonies Dec. 14 but the foundation for the project, a mix of the goodness and generosity of the Belmont church’s parishioners, has been in place since the parish’s establishment in 1947.

"Personally, I think the most important part of this project was working together", said John J. Murray, chair of the parish building committee. "We all gave a lot of money to this project but what we really gave was our commitment." Mr. Murray and his wife, Marie, have been Immaculate Heart of Mary parishioners for almost 20 years. Their now-adult children, Brian and Erin are graduates of the parish school. Final steps to the new facility, which according to some parishioners had been hoped-for for almost 25 years, began in 1997, with a request from then-pastor, Father James MacDonald, Mr. Murray said. "Father Jim asked that I head up a committee to put together a parish master plan and get a gymnasium built," Mr. Murray recalled.

A successful remodeling of the parish’s primary meeting place, St. Michael’s Hall, had increased Father MacDonald’s interest in preparing the rest of the parish plant to better serve the 2,200-family community. The priest had been "prodding the parish to look to the future" for, at least, five years, Mr. Murray said.

The building committee, whose membership included Joe Andreano, Helen Cross, Larry Diskin, Mike Maher, Gary Sanders, Tom Uldrick, as well as Mrs. Murray, and parish office manager Gail Weber and her husband, Robert, put a comprehensive plan in place. It includes the multi-purpose center as well as future construction involving the rectory, parish offices and church.

"We have completed phase one of the master plan in the multi-purpose center which consists of a gym, stage, professional kitchen, kindergarten, day-care facility, and adult meeting room," Mr. Murray said.

Fundraising to complete phase one construction was put in the hands of "two dynamic parishioners," Gloria Oswald and Marianne Severe, Mr. Murray said.

"The idea for the center grew from the interest of many parishioners over a long period of time and it was worth waiting for," Mrs. Oswald said. "It suits our purposes. It fit our budget." Mrs. Oswald and her husband, Donald, have been Immaculate Heart of Mary parishioners since 1967. Their now adult children, Celeste, Madonna, Veronica and Monique, attended the parish school.

"The new multi-purpose center benefits the entire community and was much needed," Mrs. Oswald said. It also takes pressure off other parish facilities, she noted, including St. Michael’s Hall, the rectory and parish offices. Until having a gym on-site, parish sports programs needed to rent playing areas elsewhere.

"It’s a testimony to the goodness of the people of the parish who joined in this faith-filled mission and hope-filled vision ," said Mrs. Oswald, noting "their generosity in prayers and gifts made it all possible." She also called it "witness to the growing needs" at the parish.

Almost two-thirds of the $3 million cost for phase one construction has been raised from parishioners and other sources. Helping make up the difference is a long-term lease of parish land at Ralston Avenue and Alameda de las Pulgas to Sun Rise Assisted Care.

Mrs. Oswald said while this has been primarily a work of the laity, Father Jim MacDonald has been a major element of its success. "He listened to us and he trusted us," she said. "The parish has been re-invigorated by the process of working together on this project," Mr. Murray said. "When we opened this facility in December, I think I had tears in my eyes." "I’m proud to have been part of this," Father MacDonald, now pastor of St. Pius Parish, said "Very good people worked very hard to make it happen. It is an example of a pastor working in collaboration with competent and caring lay people, and gave longtime parishioners the chance to meet and work with new parishioners."

"The new parish center and capital campaign that allowed it to come into existence have helped provide a goal and unify the parish," said Father Stephen Howell, administrator of Immaculate Heart of Mary and chaplain at Notre Dame High School, Belmont. "The entire project was in the hands of the parishioners and its success is due to their efforts."

Young Catholics evangelize at San Francisco’s Union Square

By Jayme George

During World Youth Day 1993, Pope John Paul II called for a movement of Catholic youth to go out into the streets, "like the first Apostles who preached Christ and the Good News of salvation." His call was answered by Youth for the Third Millennium (YTM), a Catholic organization that trains young men and women as lay missionaries.

Today, YTM is one of the seven largest Catholic movements worldwide with organizations in over thirty countries. San Francisco’s own Union Square was the site of YTM’s latest mission Feb. 7 as young people stood at street corners handing rosaries, cassettes, and pamphlets on the Catholic faith to passers-by.

"In the few hours that we are here, we usually talk to about 30 or 40 people," said YTM volunteer Matthew Garibaldi of Burlingame. "But if we touch just one person with what we have to say, then it’s worth it."

According to the volunteer missionaries, rarely are they ever faced with negativity or difficult questions of faith. "People are very encouraged when they see us," said Andrea Huch, a volunteer from Palo Alto. "They tell us that they go to mass and how they pray, but most of the time they just want to know more about Catholicism."

Part of the evangelization process is just opening people’s eyes to the Catholic faith, said Huch. The volunteers offer a free rosary or pamphlet and each encounter is left with a parting "God bless." According to Huch we live in a "culture of death." YTM is trying to bring our culture back to life. YTM volunteer Michael Jacobean is in the midst of his own mission that involves two years of Apostolic missionary work. Originally from Fairfax, Virginia, Jacobean now is based in San Jose. "I have been on eleven missions so far, including one to London," said Jacobean. "What I have learned is that while we try to bring Christ to others, the people who are most evangelized are the missionaries themselves."

"The thing to remember when you are out here on the streets is that you have to be charitable and respect the dignity of every person," added Jacobean. "Evangelization is about winning hearts, which is not the same as winning an argument. You can talk circles around someone, but if you don’t win hearts, you are wasting your time."

The evangelizing tools are provided courtesy of David Mees, a parishioner of St. Mary’s in Walnut Creek. Rosaries are made by volunteers at St. Mary’s, while the cassettes and pamphlets are purchased by Mees and donated to YTM’s missions.

The day’s event was also part of missionary preparation for YTM’s Megamission that will be held in Sacramento during Holy Week. The Megamission brings together hundreds of missionaries from all over the West coast in one place to evangelize door-to-door. The event is then culminated with an Easter Mass. A similar Megamission will be held

simultaneously on the East coast in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information regarding YTM missions or to participate in the Megamission, visit www.ytm.org or contact Michael Jacobean at 408-515-2490 or David Mees at 925-381-7059.

"One of our own" makes history as San Francisco’s first female fire chief

By Evelyn Zappia

When Joanne Hayes graduated from San Francisco’s St. Stephen Elementary in 1978, she never dreamed of becoming a firefighter. It was not an option the City made available to women. Now, a little more than 25 years later, the mother of three, was sworn-in at City Hall as San Francisco’s first female fire chief.

Hayes-White’s appointment by Mayor Gavin Newson makes San Francisco’s the largest urban fire department in the world under a woman’s leadership. Currently, 12 percent of the city’s 1800 firefighters are women.

Among the 500 attending the swearing-in ceremony at City Hall were at least 200 well-wishers from the chief’s lifelong parish, St. Stephen in San Francisco’s Lakeside district. Many in the crowd were St. Stephen classmates of her two sons Riley, fourth grade, and Logan, first grade.

Sharon McCarthy Allen, principal of St. Stephen said, "I think almost our whole school attended," including parents, students and staff.

The first time Allen met the new chief was two years ago when the newly appointed principal was working in the church hall surrounded by boxes she needed to put away. "Looks like you can use some help," said Hayes-White, who introduced herself and spent several hours helping the stranded principal. "We just love her here," said Allen. "She’s our ‘spirit mom’ who is in charge of St. Stephen’s merchandise." Allen said when Hayes-White took over the merchandise project she took it to "a whole different level, making it quite successful for the school."

Hayes-White thrives on her family and faith, giving credit to both for who she is and what she has accomplished in her life.

The native San Franciscan, and youngest of four siblings, grew up in a traditional Irish-Catholic family.

Her father, Tom Hayes, immigrated to the U.S. from Ireland in 1949. He soon met his wife-to-be, Patricia Brosnan, a native of the City, devout Catholic and also Irish. She had attended St. Anne’s Elementary and Immaculate Conception Academy. When their first child Daniel was born there was no debate - of course he would receive a Catholic education - as would, Geralyn, Patty and Joanne. The four Hayes siblings graduated from St. Stephen Elementary.

Tom and Patricia Hayes have lived in the parish for the last 40 years, as do Chief Hayes-White, her husband, Sean White and their three boys.

"Going to Church, believing in God, helping others, and always treating people with dignity and respect," are the traditions she learned as a child which carry her through life.

She praises her family and Church for instilling in her the core values she believes "have a great deal to do with the conviction of doing the right thing."

Those core values were reinforced through her Catholic education at schools including St. Stephen’s; Mercy High School, where she graduated in 1982; and University of Santa Clara, where she earned an undergraduate degree in business. Hayes-White excelled at Mercy, according to principal Dorothy McCrea. She had close to a 4.0 average and was senior class president. She was awarded the Soroptimist honor for student service, and was voted by her peers to receive the Anne Marie Murphy Award, one of the highest honors a student can receive at the school. Hayes-White also served as a California Girls State Representative. "Through all of this, she managed to play volleyball and basketball for all four years," said McCrea.

Hayes-White lauds the education she received at Mercy High saying "without a doubt" it has contributed to her success. "It gave me the support to believe in myself and the opportunity to excel in everything I wanted to do with few boundaries." She came away from Mercy knowing "if you work hard and you have a goal in mind - you can achieve that goal."

Hayes-White passed the Catholic traditions to her sons Riley 10, Logan 7, and Sean 4. She and the boys, along with her husband, Sean, and her parents are "regulars" at the 9:30 am Mass at St. Stephen. Father Joe Walsh, pastor at St. Stephen, could not be prouder about "one of our own" making history at SFFD.

The Sunday following Hayes-White’s official appointment as fire chief, Father Walsh called the family to the altar and performed a special blessing. "There were people in the Church with tears in their eyes," he said.

"Joanne was extremely popular in the parish before her appointment as fire chief," said Father Walsh. "She is very active in the parish - always talking to groups of parents and involved in the Parent’s Guild."

"Joanne is a decisive person - a go-getter with very fine people skills," said Father Walsh. "Whatever needs to be done in the fire department she has the qualities to address them positively."

"I consider myself a very progressive, proactive person but in a lot of ways I have great respect for the values and tradition I was raised with - it’s all very important to me," Hayes-White said.

She is "big on family," and considers the fire department her second family, followed by St. Stephen’s community. The sense of family became even clearer when as an infant, her youngest son, Sean, was critically ill and had his first of two open-heart surgeries.

Because the family was unsure of the outcome, Father John Greene, chaplain for the fire department, baptized Sean under the emergency conditions in the hospital. In earlier years he had baptized the boy’s brothers under less serious conditions.

"I think the world of Father Greene," she said. "He does so much good for the Fire Department. You know, he is a Chief too. He is the pastor of St. Monica’s - he has that world he is responsible for - yet at a moments notice he is available to anyone in the fire department family."

Although Sean had open-heart surgery again at three years old, today his mother said he is doing just fine.

"Her children and husband are the light of her life," said Nancy Crowley, a friend and St. Stephen parishioner.

Recently, Hayes-White had to assure one of her boys that "although it is a huge job being the fire chief, my most important job, and the job I love the most at all times is being your mom, and I am not going to waiver from that."

Journey to Fire Chief

Established in 1866, the San Francisco Fire Department remained an all-male workforce until 1987. Until then, all personnel were referred to as "firemen." Traditionally, but not always, the "firemen" were examples for their sons who followed in their footsteps.

Since Hayes-White’s father, Tom, was a contractor, and her older brother, Dan, was a teacher and football coach, she seemed to guide herself to becoming a San Francisco "firefighter."

Her interest was sparked in 1989, when she learned the fire department was hiring women. She was drawn to helping the community. "Well," she thought, " let’s see where this takes me."

Her decision to accomplish what only nine other women had done before her did not surprise her dad. "Joanne showed great leadership from the day she was born," her father said proudly. "Sure, it was rough going in the beginning but she loves a challenge."

Hayes-White concurs, "I thrive on challenge. If someone said ‘you can’t do that’ - then I’m going to try my hardest and prove I can do it," she said. "And this was a challenge just getting into the department being a female."

Being the first of so few females in the department "hasn’t necessarily been easy all the time," for her. She believes her "city roots and having a lot of commonalties with some of the firefighters" helped a great deal.

She knew, if she was going to make it she would "have to do the job better than just good, study very hard, always be thorough no matter what the assignment, put work first, and be a positive team member." Looking back, she said, "I’m so glad I gave myself this opportunity and I took a chance." Hayes-White entered the fire department in April 1990, leaving her position at Ralph K. Davies Hospital as a Human Resource Administrator where she negotiated labor contracts, recruited personnel, and kept the lines of communications open between employer and personnel.

"When I worked in HR, I felt I was making a difference," she said, "but being in the fire department took it to a new level because you see things, a lot of times, that are very rewarding, very good things, where you are directly involved in rescue." Most rewarding for the Chief was assisting in the delivery of two babies. "It is an unbelievable experience," she said.

"At the same time," she added, "you deal with a lot of things most people do not see in life. Probably the most difficult aspect of the job is dealing with people who lose their life due to an accident or some sort of tragedy - someone dies, merely by happenstance."

"Typically, if there is a fire you are running into a building while others are running out," she said. "It is a profession that can make a huge difference, and that’s what makes it exciting. Through training and teamwork you have the ability to aid someone in a difficult situation. It is very difficult to describe how rewarding it really is," she said. "The fire department is an example of the importance of teamwork," she said. "We count on one another, especially being there for training, because we never know when the call will put us in perilous situations."

While rising through the ranks from firefighter in 1990 to lieutenant in 1993 and captain in 1996, Hayes-White said, "along the way I have been so fortunate to have wonderful mentors who have taken me under their wing. . . I was thirsty for information and asked questions incessantly. I think when people see that someone is truly interested in learning they take the time to teach you," she said.

She would "love to name her mentors" but said the list of those who helped her is "very, very long," and did not want to leave anyone unnamed.

In May of 1996, she was able to utilize one of her greatest strengths "communication" as acting battalion chief in charge of the department’s dispatch and communications systems. There she refined the program’s capabilities with the installation of a computer-aided dispatch system and automated information systems, centralizing expansive dispatch and records management.

In 1998, she consolidated dispatch operations under the Emergency Communication Department, uniting the Fire, Emergency Medical Team, and Police dispatch communications in one location, improving response times and collaborative teamwork.

Promoted to assistant deputy chief in 1998, her responsibilities expanded to the operations of the Division of Support Services, the Bureau of Communications, the Bureau of Equipment, the Bureau of Engineering and Water Supply, Management Information Systems, and Renovations.

Since March 2000, as assistant deputy chief and director of training, Hayes-White supervised recruit training, in-service training, continuing education, and firefighter/paramedic cross training. The position gave Hayes-White the opportunity to work in all of San Francisco’s 41 fire stations.

In addition, she formed the Battalion-Based In-Service Training Program for all the members of the fire department that effectively tripled the number of formal training hours, with no additional cost.

San Francisco’s First Female Fire Chief

January 9, Joanne Hayes-White was with her husband and parents having dinner at a local restaurant when she received a page from the Mayor’s office. "Just be prepared," the chief of staff said to her, "the Mayor is going to talk to you tomorrow and ask you to be the fire chief."

It had been only a few days since she was told the mayor was considering her for the position, and only that morning she had the formal interview with the mayor and "candidly" discussed her concerns related to taking the position.

Before speaking with the mayor, she had "many long discussions" with her husband regarding the position. He was very supportive, as were her parents, brother, sisters, and her children.

She reflected on how impressed she was in how the mayor conducted the interview. "He is so passionate about making a difference for all the citizens in San Francisco," she said. "I really wanted to be part of his team because in many ways we share the same vision."

"It was great for me to see the youth infusion in his office, and all the fresh ideas, new energy surrounding City Hall and the city in general," she said.

The San Francisco Fire Commission approved the Mayor’s choice of Joanne Hayes-White as chief of the San Francisco Fire Department, Jan. 15, and the next day she was sworn-in. "I’m optimistic but I’m realistic, it is not going to be easy given the state of the economy," she said. "We are going to have to come up with some very creative solutions to be able to provide the same level of service with shrinking dollars, shrinking budget."

She and the mayor are committed to "not laying anyone off," but she admits it will be a difficult task. She is currently working on the budget and forming her team, choosing coworkers in her command staff that share the same vision of moving the department into "a new era."

Hayes-White is passionate about training. "In my opinion, it is critical to the success of any organization, and it takes on a greater importance in the arena of public safety. If we don’t have a well trained workforce, we’ll have an adverse impact on the service that we deliver," she said. "Training keeps in theme that all the members are ensuring their safety and well being - bottom line - we want to protect all our fire department members."

She said the city needs to continue with the training program that is in place today, "actually broadening it, in light of 9/11, to be better trained in the areas of homeland security, and prepared for terrorists threats. All of this is very important to me."

"It is going to be a real challenge because more training is usually associated with more dollars, and we are looking at a possible shrinking budget with greater needs for training," she said. It’s a challenge Hayes-White plans to take on. Ensuring promotional opportunities and continuing education for all employees is yet another Hayes-White goal. "I want to make sure that we support anyone in the department interested in obtaining an associate degree or bachelor degree. I believe it is helpful to have a workforce that is educated, not only in the field of fire science, because education gives an appreciation for different perspectives."

She believes the fire department does a great job responding to Emergency Calls but thinks there is room for improvement in terms of "being a little more visible" in the community in a non-emergency capacity.

"I want us to get out there and be real friendly visible faces in our neighborhoods," she said. "We have 41 stations, and I think it is appropriate that people who live near stations are familiar with who the firefighters are that are assigned to their neighborhood."

Perhaps her greatest hurdle will be silencing the moaning and speculation that has been publicly stated and written in local newspapers about having "only 14 years experience" and her appointment being "political, because she is a woman." "If Joanne thought the mayor appointed her because she is a woman, she would not hesitate to turn him down," said Father Walsh. "She has too much integrity for that."

"Joanne is not afraid to make the big decisions, and I believe she will disarm any opposition she may face with her positive and warm personality. I think we can expect great things from her," said St. Stephen parishioner Nancy Crowley.

Ministry of Deacons
‘It’s the ministry that matters, not my story’

By Patrick Joyce

Jerry Friedman entered the diaconate formation program in his late 40s with service to the elderly as his top priority. Now, at 75, it still is.

Deacon Friedman spent about 16 years working at his parish, St. Isabella in the Terra Linda community of San Rafael, in a wide range of ministries including the elderly before retiring from full-time service at the parish. He did this he says, "because, for lack of a better expression, I got burned out with parish work." Now the elderly are his primary focus. "My original intention was to serve the elderly and during formation I ministered at the Little Sisters of the Poor’s St. Anne’s Home in San Francisco. Now I’m working 20 hours a week at Nazareth House in San Rafael. I’m one of the youngest there," he says with a broad smile.

His first encounter with his new ministry came nearly 30 years ago in the form of a bulletin announcement about a diaconate meeting. "I asked our pastor at St. Isabella, Father Ed Dingberg, what the permanent diaconate was," he recalls. "He didn’t know but he told me, ‘Go to the meeting and come back and tell me.’"

"There were a large number of guys crowded into the room," he recalls. "Father Bill Justice and Sister Joan Derry made presentations, and it just sounded appealing. They gave us this little test and I thought, ‘That will take care of that.’ About two weeks later, I heard that I had passed that test, and I was invited to an interview session. There were a lot fewer guys there."

"What appealed to me, what intrigued me, was the idea that it was opening up possibilities that I had not really thought of for myself. In a way it was giving me easy entrée to things that I could do." The liturgical role of the deacon "really did not strike me as the motivating force. It was the opportunity to do things for people. That has always been part of my makeup - trying to be helpful."

Father Dingberg encouraged him to pursue the diaconate and then his successor as pastor, Msgr. Francis A. Lacey, eased the way for Deacon Friedman after his ordination. "Frank had a great appreciation for the diaconate and what it could do, so my becoming deacon was very easy, being accepted in the parish was very easy because he made sure everybody knew what I was doing."

An associate pastor had established a variety of "outreach ministries, classic diaconal things - feeding the hungry, getting involved with St. Vincent de Paul, visiting the sick, visiting shut-ins." When the associate was transferred Msgr. Lacy invited Deacon Friedman to work full time in the parish and keep the ministries going. He gave up his career as a salesman and became full-time deacon, with a 30 percent cut in pay.

"It was well worth it," he says. "The general assignment was to be responsible for parish outreach ministries. We had an umbrella title of Matthew 5 - the spiritual works of mercy, the corporal works of mercy, the beatitudes. . . . We had a freezer program for emergency meals, visitors to the shut-ins, hospital visits, the 50-plus club, lectors and eucharistic ministers. I was responsible for all the parish outreach ministries. In addition, I had the opportunity to do the liturgical things that deacons do."

"When I was working full time in the parish, people came to me when they had problems. When they came with spiritual problems, I would tell them ‘I can hear your confession but I can’t give you absolution,’" he says laughing. "People would come for the counseling. They would come to me because I was a married man."

"Being a deacon made it easier for me to do things. . . . It enabled me to do more and things opened up for me I would never have thought of," he says. He does not, however, see the diaconate as a sort of mini-priesthood.

"I got over the idea of becoming a priest in the sixth grade. When the sister asked who wanted to be a priest, I raised my hand. Nobody asked after that, and I got interested in girls, but I was always close to my faith and to the Church. I loved being of service and what the diaconate did was enable me to fulfill my ability to be of real service to the people of God."

The deacon is not a sort of mini-priest, he says. "That may be an individual deacon’s danger - that he aspires to that. For some reason he missed a priestly vocation when he was younger. That should not be a problem if we make the right choices in people who are accepted into the diaconate at the very beginning. . . . We’ve also been active through the years in interviewing candidates." What we look for are "candidates whose ministries are to the people, people who are interested in other people."

"My first love was working with the elderly. One of my assignments in the parish was to moderate the seniors club. Now I go to Nazareth House for breakfast - theirs, not mine - and help feed people in the skilled nursing unit. I do Communion rounds and a Communion Service every morning. On Wednesdays I do scripture studies and host an afternoon movie. I lead the sing-along, I’m the moderator or interlocutor. I tell jokes and encourage people to sing, talk to them and listen to them."

As part of his parish ministry he also goes to Kaiser Hospital each Friday. "I visit the patients, take Communion, do a lot of listening and some counseling, some consoling." The experience of visiting the sick as a deacon rather than a lay person does not affect his approach greatly, "other than that the deacon can bless in the name of the Church. But it becomes different for the person who is sick. The person in the bed or in the wheelchair, she or he recognizes that you are an official representative of their worshipping, spiritual community, and that’s important to them."

Even the wearing of a clerical shirt and collar at the hospital makes a difference - not just to patients but the hospital staff. "For 20 years, I went in sports shirt and slacks or jacket and tie. The people on the hospital staff still call me Jerry and we still kid around, but there is a different sense I get from them - from the fact that I am now wearing the collar.

"Now when I go into the room I have to explain I’m not a priest. People accept it - at least I’m there representing their faith."

Even with his emphasis on service, he says, "I love doing the liturgy in my own parish and at Nazareth House . . . The liturgical - in terms of the celebration of the Mass with the community on a Sunday or holy day or during the week - I love it, with my community."

Jerry and his wife Pat have four children and eight grandchildren. Before he became a deacon, he was a lector and eucharistic ministers. When the parish formed, he was the leader of the formation of the ushers. Pat is also active, on her own as a lector and eucharistic minister, and with Jerry on the RCIA program. They also did marriage preparation together.

Jerry and Pat were impressed by the formation program. "You have to have had the experience to appreciate what happened in those little less than four years," he says, "the people you’re with, the people who instructed us, the people who managed it - Bill Justice and Joan Derry. These are uniquely special people. The subjects that are taught and the way they’re taught, the insights you get into our faith and why we believe what we believe and why we celebrate the way we celebrate."

The one area where Deacon Friedman would like to see a change involves his primary ministry. "I feel the average deacon visits more sick and elderly and the dying than the average priest," he says. "I would like to be able to anoint them with the Sacrament of the Sick. I realize that includes the forgiveness sins, which the priestly vocation reserves to itself. But the fact that we’re frequently there with them at the moment. That really is part of the diaconal role - that hands-on, human, temporal side of Christian living."

But, he says, "It’s the ministry that matters, not my story. I’ve been blessed. No doubt about that."

Wives of deacons speak of their experience

JENNY BACON

When Nate Bacon told his wife Jenny he was interested in the diaconate, "I was one hundred percent behind him. I was very, very happy. I feel in my heart that he was called to be a deacon - the way he works with people. His heart is the heart of a deacon.

"The formation was very good. I like the idea of wives being involved in the classes. We know that we need to support them," Mrs. Bacon says. When she was younger, she might have objected to the idea that women can’t become deacons, but not now. "I do not feel left out. I’m working with him side by side in the ministry. I am already settled in what I want to do and I don’t need to be part of the diaconate to spread the word of God."

Together, the Bacons started the Comunidad San Dimas program to help at risk youths in the Mission District, and Mrs. Bacon still plays an important role. "I tutor them from the Bible and meet with them one on one almost every day - seeing how he’s doing, making sure he is not going back on drugs. One night a week we have a night of prayer."

She pursues that ministry while caring for their children Gabriela, 10, and Nate Jr., two and a half. "I am," she says firmly, a fulltime mom."

BARBARA SEQUEIRA

For Barbara Sequeira, it was a bittersweet experience — her husband John’s decision to pursue the diaconate. When John first considered the diaconate, she was "relieved when he decided not to do it - it was such a major vocation and our kids were so young." Their two daughters were then about five and eight years old.

Later, when the children were older and John decided to enter the program, she had mixed feelings. "I had finished my masters in religious studies, and I knew I would be facing discrimination" because only men would be ordained deacons, Mrs. Sequeira says. "But I said I can support him and I would participate to the full extent in the program, so I can get something out of it too."

In the past, the couple had always worked together in Church service but once John was ordained a deacon, she says, "No longer would I be recognized in the same way as he. It was very difficult to have us separated."

"The training was wonderful. I gained a great deal from the formation. It increased my own call to the diaconate. There was a lot of pain involved but I also gained a lot. I have worked through the pain and just moved on."

Ironically, the formation was so inclusive of wives that her husband’s ordination was "very painful," she says. "I was excluded. My husband was on the altar and I sat alone in the pew."

Barbara and John Sequeira still work together, whenever they can, on things such as RCIA. "We try to show it is as much a deacon couple as deacon," she says adding firmly, "I support John completely. I am thrilled the way life is going - the missions and Take the High Road. It is exciting and wonderful to watch."

PAT FRIEDMAN

"When Jerry started, I was excited," Pat Friedman says. "I always felt he was called do something in the Church, something more, and I knew he would be good. It sounded like a great program, and the benefits . . . To be exposed to the caliber of people who were giving these classes - four years of wonderful school I would never have had. It all was awesome."

"The wives were encouraged to attend the formation program as much as possible," Pat Friedman says, "to experience everything the candidates were experiencing at the time, which meant Cursillo, the Charismatic movement, Marriage Encounter . . . So all the wives came - there were some young families with children in grade school where they would do homework in rooms next to ours."

ROSIE PAULINO

Rosie Paulino says she is "very supportive" of her husband’s ministry as a deacon, but, she adds with a laugh, "sometimes I say I am wife number two when he is spending most of his time in ministry. But really he is very aware that home is number one."

"Tony has always been very much involved in the Church," she says. " When he talked to me about the diaconate, I realized some areas of life would need to be adjusted but I saw my support was needed. I was a little skeptical but I told him I was behind him"

Mrs. Paulino found the formation program very helpful. "It is good to let the wives in the program. It makes them aware of their responsibilities," she says. "The program offered us an opportunity to share. The spiritual growth and discernment was very good. The professors did a good job of guiding us, and the classmates were wonderful."

LINDA MYERS

Her husband’s pursuit of the diaconate "was just the next logical step for him in his faith journey," Linda Myers says. "Jim had always been deeply involved in the life of the Church. When we were first married, I was a member of the Methodist Church and didn’t convert to the Catholic Church for 15 years. During those years, Jim continued to attend church, without me, making sure that the children received their religious training and sacraments."

In the formation program, Mrs. Myers "learned a great deal about the church and myself as well. I was grateful that the wives played such a large role in the formation, even to the point of having the right to say ‘no’ to her husband’s entering formation - and even to his ordination. I realized that these wonderful women would be ‘deacons’ too — unfortunately, not officially in the eyes of the Church. However, I knew that going into formation, and I was very grateful for the opportunity to study along with the men in the class."

Linda Myers is deeply involved in service at St. Isabella in Terra Linda. "Prior to the Diaconate formation, I was and still am, the Director of Music and Liturgy there," she says. "Actually, Jim has always been very supportive of my job - and I of his."

"Without the support of their wives, the deacons would feel torn or perhaps guilty" because the diaconate takes them away from their family obligations, she says. Wives help in a variety of ways, she says, and "all of us pray for our husbands - that the demands of being a deacon, and the demands of being a husband and father, and the demands of trying to walk the walk, to be an example to all they meet, don’t take too high a toll on these dedicated men."

The lives of deacons and their wives "can be a challenge, or even a burden," she says, "but it is a life full of God’s blessing and grace, and I am proud to be a part of this diaconate community. I will never regret the decision to take this walk with my deacon husband."

The beautiful people

By Lynn Smith

If the TV networks have it right, our appetite for "Reality Shows" keeps getting stronger and stronger. This is not meant to disparage those who watch them, I willingly admit to watching them myself. But I do sometimes have to remind myself that these shows are heavy on entertainment and light on reality.

Where I live I see a true Reality Show each time I walk through my neighborhood. Two of the "characters" are Nancy and Sam (names changed.)

I had seen Nancy around the neighborhood for a couple of years. I would see her everywhere, with her messy, but not dirty looking hair, a man’s shirt hanging off her skinny, small frame, rolled up pants, flip flops, carrying bags. It wasn’t until my baby was born that I began to get to know her. She would spot me and gravitate towards me; her sad face would light up at my son. She would kiss my baby’s hands and I would cringe at the sight of her thick, yellow fingernails. She would speak quickly and then move on, perhaps expecting that I would not want to say anything to her.

One day she asked me my name and then seemed surprised when I asked hers. She paused before she said, "Nancy." The next time I saw her I said, "Hi Nancy," and she seemed pleased and said, "You have a good memory."

Over the past few years our frequent interactions have continued. I learned that she lives right near me. Almost every day she leaves me things on my doorstep, whatever she has. "You’re so lucky," she tells me, "You have a husband, a baby, I have no one."

The other "character" is Sam. Sam is blind, but sees no apparent reason why this means he should live any differently than if he weren’t. He wears wrap around dark glasses, but carries no cane and has no seeing-eye dog. The first time I saw Sam I was in my car and was horrified to see a blind man in the middle of an intersection, his arms outstretched, trying to feel his way across the street. I lurched my car to a stop, left my crying baby in the car and ran to the middle of the street and took his arm. "You’re in the middle of the street, I’ll help you across" I said, in somewhat of a panic. "Oh thank you, I just got a little turned around, I’m really okay." He seemed neither distressed to learn he was in the middle of the street, nor surprised that someone stopped to help him.

I have gotten used to the sight of Sam going about his business in the neighborhood, and so has my son. One day when we were at the post office, my son looked out the door and saw Sam from a distance. "Mom," he said to me, "Is that our Sam?" What amazes me though is that there is almost always someone at his side giving him a hand, asking if he needs help, or just talking to him.

I realized one day that God, through Nancy and Sam, has given us a way to show the beautiful side of being human; he’s given us a chance to shine. How rare that we see anything at all of the beautiful side of being human from the beautiful people on Reality TV.

Lynn Smith is a parishioner at St. Monica Parish and is mother of a three year old boy.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

False solidarity

Up to now, I thought I had heard every possible criticism of globalization. But Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga is on the front page of Catholic San Francisco stating that globalization promotes injustice and inequality (Cardinal speaks on globalization at Stanford, Feb. 6). The usual criticism is that globalization eliminates inequality as (for example) U.S. textile workers lose their high cost jobs to Hondurans, who can produce the same goods at less cost. Consumers everywhere gain, and Hondurans move from low-wage agriculture to manufacturing where they can earn more, in direct competition with U.S. workers.

This is the new equality, and one of its benefits is that it reduces the smuggling of human beings across borders by promoting development of people’s highest skills and industries wherever they are.

Governments (including our own, but especially in the Third World) try to block globalization through tariffs and subsidies that favor powerful groups (such as unionized workers and farmers) at the expense of the vast majority of citizens. It is protectionism, not globalization, that promotes injustice and inequality, for resistance to the free flow of goods and services to their highest bidders keeps both Hondurans and Americans poor for the sake of some false sense of solidarity with the privileged. Abuse of government and religion to force fellow citizens to purchase the wrong goods at the wrong prices to prop up the wrong industries is itself an injustice and an example of corruption. The days of governments and churches deciding who should produce what, and who can buy what from whom are waning. We should be glad.

Stephen St. Marie - San Francisco

Delusional exercise

Jerome Downs’ letter criticizes the Archbishop of La Crosse’s decision to abide by canon law and refuse communion to pro-abortion Catholic legislators in his diocese. Downs virtually denounces the archbishop for both interfering with a politician’s conscience and for provoking anti-Catholic bigotry by violating the church-state divide.

Downs ignores the archbishop’s two key responsibilities in such instances. As the shepherd of his diocese, he must care for the soul of each believer, including the politician. In fact, the politician’s voting record and public advocacy of abortion rights probably have resulted in his self excommunication from the Church - whether the politician acknowledges this reality or hides from it.

Second, the archbishop is responsible for the other souls of his diocese, including those Catholics confused or scandalized by a pastor’s willingness to offer Communion to someone who publicly sets themselves apart from the mind and heart of the Church. Such pastors may be lauded as tolerant and sensitive, but their actions trivialize both the evil of abortion and the moral freedom of politicians who embrace the pro-choice cause.

The archbishop’s action is a much belated corrective to the more typical "pastoral" approach favored by most bishops and pastors. Tolerance and quiet conversation have been the preferred method of dealing with pro-choice politicians. In exchange, the Church and her countercultural teachings frequently are treated with public condescension and even contempt. Of course, sometimes a pro-choice pol requires the mantle of respectability or finds common cause with his cradle faith. Then the Church is vigorously, if briefly, embraced as prophetic.

While the majority of bishops hold fast to the "pastoral" approach, the politicians who take the offensive against what the pope has called "the culture of death" are more likely to be Born Again Christians than cradle Catholics. It’s time for the bishops to admit that their sensitive dialogue with pro-choice polls has been a one way street.

Joan Frawley Desmond - Chevy Chase, MD

Burke’s example

I am writing in response to a letter from Mr. Jerome Downs (1/30/04), which claimed that Archbishop Burke had overstepped his bounds in declaring that Catholic politicians who voted pro-abortion would be denied Communion.

First, Mr. Downs said, "the legislator’s vote should be dictated by his own conscience, not that of the archbishop." Yet the Catholic legislator’s conscience should be formed by his faith - meaning that he has the duty to oppose anything that contradicts that faith. The legislator is not being told to follow the conscience of the archbishop but rather to follow God’s law, which the archbishop has the duty to proclaim.

Mr. Downs then claimed the foundation was laid for the charge that "the Church is dictating how the legislator should vote." The Church is dictating nothing of the sort. Everyone is free to vote however he chooses, but it is a mistake to assume that our choices come without consequences. As an authority figure in the Church, an archbishop has the responsibility to remind his flock that certain actions remove one from union with that Church.

No priest, or archbishop for that matter, should direct a congregation to vote for a specific candidate. However, he is within his rights - and indeed, fulfilling his obligation - to direct the people not to vote for any candidate who holds a position directly contrary to the faith.

It makes one wonder why candidates are running for office in the first place, if not to enact in public policy the principles they believe are right and good. For a Catholic legislator, those principles presumably come from his faith. A politician who publicly rejects a significant moral teaching poses a grave scandal to other Catholics, which is why Archbishop Burke is to be applauded for speaking the truth and protecting the faith of his diocese. I hope and pray that other bishops around the country will follow his example.

Amy Kline - Mountain View

Charismatic applause

Many thanks for Jayme George’s very well-done and most informative article, "Catholic Websites-Both Near and Far," Feb. 6. The article and accompanying list of recommended websites is certainly worth hanging on to for both present and future reference.

I would like to add another excellent Archdiocesan website to your list of recommendations: namely, www.sfSpirit.com, the home of the Archdiocese’s Charismatic Renewal on the Internet, it spreads the Good News by featuring daily scriptural reflections and numerous articles and teachings in both English and Spanish as well as links to many other fine websites whose content includes the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Catholic Encyclopedia. Visitors may also submit prayer intentions that will go on to be distributed to prayer groups around the Archdiocese.

sfSpirit.com is a very accessible introduction to Charismatic spirituality as well as a valuable teaching tool for those already familiar with the Renewal. The Archbishop’s Charismatic Liaison, Father Joe Landi, has admirably put together a powerful evangelization resource that, coupled with the Charismatics newsletter, strives mightily to bring the Holy Spirit to His people.

With sincere appreciation for your wonderful publication.

Mary Chang Flynn - San Francisco

EDITORIAL

Viva Catholic San Francisco

Five years ago this week, the first issue of Catholic San Francisco was published – marking both a culmination and a beginning.

The commitment to a weekly newspaper, Archbishop William J. Levada said, "reflects a deeply held belief that increased communication will help us build a stronger community of faith, a more informed and involved laity and a renewed commitment to the mission of the Church."

There is no doubt in my mind that Catholic San Francisco has been the recipient of many extraordinary blessings from God. At every moment that a crucial talent or resource was needed, someone always has appeared.

We also are blessed by the great interest and support of our readers. We hope you enjoy Catholic San Francisco for many years to come.

MEH

Message of same-sex marriage

By Maggie Gallagher

What message will same-sex marriage send to the next generation?

I got a foretaste recently while taking the shuttle back home from D.C. The young man sitting next to me was a college student, headed home for the holidays. Call him Matthew. We got to talking about the whole SSM thing.

"Why are you against it?" Matthew asked. So I told him. Marriage is the place where we not only tolerate people having babies and raising children, we positively welcome and encourage it. Same-sex marriage will be a public and legal declaration that the state of Massachusetts believes that children do not need mothers and fathers.

Alternative family forms are not only just as good, they are just the same as a husband and wife raising kids together. "Don’t you think that ideally, kids need a mom and a dad?" I asked.

"Not really," Matthew told me. "I don’t think so." He told me knew some kids at school who were being raised by a same-sex couple. They seemed OK to him. Besides, he said, his mom and dad were divorced. His older brother seemed to have some problems with it, he hinted, but that was probably just because his brother was older and knew his dad better before they divorced.

"Kids just accept whatever their family situation is. It doesn’t matter," Matthew told me. After all, he was raised by a single mom and doing just fine.

Sure, he was doing fine, in a lot of ways.

But then I pulled out my big gun: "What about you?" I asked him. "Do you think you’ll matter to your kids?"

Matthew seemed taken aback by the question. Obviously he had never looked at it from that perspective. He thought for a moment and then followed his train of thought to the only logical conclusion — a train wreck:

"No," he said. "Not really."

Abandon your kids early enough, he implied, and fatherlessness is all they know. They won’t need you. Kids adjust.

This has been, of course, the big message of the family diversity crowd since the dawn of the sexual revolution: Adults have awesome intimacy needs that must be met. Family forms, social norms, household arrangements all must be wound, unwound and rewound so the adults get what they need. Kids? Oh, they adjust.

One of the many ways in which same- and opposite-sex couples differ is on this thing called babies. Gays and lesbians can get children only after an enormous amount of effort and deliberate thought: through adoption, buying a baby from a woman (a.k.a. "surrogate motherhood") or artificial insemination. Babies don’t just suddenly appear.

By contrast, the things that men and women must do to make sure they do NOT have children outside of marriage are difficult — abstain from sex, have a shotgun wedding, use contraception consistently or have an abortion (in descending order of moral virtue, in my opinion). People won’t avoid unmarried childbearing in a society that says what same-sex marriage says: Children don’t need mothers and fathers. Alternative family structures are just as good. Young men who are raised to believe that fathers don’t matter to their children will not become dependable husbands and fathers themselves.

Marriage is our most basic social institution for protecting children. Same-sex marriage amounts to a vast social experiment on children. Rewriting the basic rules of marriage puts all children, not just the children in unisex unions, at risk. Do not expect boys to become good family men in a society of Matthews who believe, as they have been taught, that men are optional in family life.

Advocates of gay marriage are trying to persuade us that SSM won’t affect anyone but the handful of gay and lesbian families. Don’t believe it. Listen to Matthew, who has absorbed the message of SSM very well.

Fathers are optional. Children are resilient. Adults are fragile, and their emotional needs come first.

Maggie Gallagher is an author and nationally syndicated columnist with Universal Press Syndicate.